Who wears a bikini and 5’’ heels to a gym? I thought these girls were losing their minds until I learned that they were preparing for an NPC bikini show. As I watched like a creepy stalker while they were practicing their poses, I secretly wished I could be one of them. I envied their lean bodies and their confidence to do something like this. I joked with my trainer who was a former body builder about getting me in shape for a show. He looked at me sternly and asked “what makes you think you can’t do it?” As a girl who grew up heavy and hid behind layer of clothes, this was something way out of my comfort zone. I hated being judged by my own family so why would I want to be judged on stage by a bunch of strangers.
As I was lying in bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about the question that my trainer asked. It kept playing in my mind over and over like a broken record. I finally told my husband who proceeded to remind me that I recently lost 25 lbs through discipline and will-power and that this challenge shouldn’t be any different. The more I thought about it; the more I wanted to do it and finally decided to push myself to the next level. This new goal was far more challenging than my first goal of losing 25 lbs. I had to learn about macros (the balance of protein, carbs and fat), muscle development and posing techniques. Meal prepping became one of my favorite hobbies and I became so efficient that I could meal prep a whole week’s meal in 3 hours. I worked with multiple coaches, attended seminars and watched body building shows to fully understand what I was getting myself into. My biggest fear (and I had many nightmares about it) was being the biggest girl standing on stage while people were pointing and laughing at me. It took almost two years for me to build the confidence and the body that I thought was competition ready.
Finally, it was my time to step on stage and rock out my new body in front of family and friends. I was dolled up in makeup, hair, spray tan, a pink sparkly bikini and big accessories. The long backstage wait was painful for my self-esteem as I watched other bikini girls practicing their poses and pumping up their muscles with bands/free weights. I had to constantly stop myself from comparing my body to theirs. Right before I walked on stage, I gave myself a mini self-talk about how far I have come and n
ow it’s time to show off all of my hard work. The moment I walked on stage everything became a blur. I vaguely remember walking out, hitting all my poses, and making it to the first call-out. What I do vividly remember is the incredible support coming from my huge entourage cheering loudly from the audience. To my surprised, I place 4th in my class of over 20 girls. This was an extremely difficult challenge but I committed and delivered.